第51章

Then, as Jane, apparently satisfied with the expression, did not attempt to qualify it, he rose and stirred the fire; standing over it for a few moments in silent thought.When he sat down again, his voice was very quiet, but there was an alertness about his expression which roused Jane.She felt that the crisis of their conversation had been reached.

"And now, my dear Jeanette," said the doctor, "suppose you tell me what you intend doing.""Doing?" said Jane."Why, of course, I shall go straight to Garth.Ionly want you to advise me how best to let him know I am coming, and whether it is safe for him to have the emotion of my arrival.Also Idon't want to risk being kept from him by doctors or nurses.My place is by his side.I ask no better thing of life than to be always beside him.But sick-room attendants are apt to be pig-headed; and a fuss under these circumstances would be unbearable.Awire from you will make all clear."

"I see," said the doctor slowly."Yes, a wire from me will undoubtedly open a way for you to Garth Dalmain's bedside.And, arrived there, what then?"A smile of ineffable tenderness parted Jane's lips.The doctor saw it, but turned away immediately.It was not for him, or for any man, to see that look.The eyes which should have seen it were sightless evermore.

"What then, Deryck? Love will know best what then.All barriers will be swept away, and Garth and I will be together."The doctor's finger-tips met very exactly before he spoke again; and when he did speak, his tone was very level and very kind.

"Ah, Jane," he said, "that is the woman's point of view.It is certainly the simplest, and perhaps the best.But at Garth's bedside you will be confronted with the man's point of view; and I should be failing the trust you have placed in me did I not put that before you now.--From the man's point of view, your own mistaken action three years ago has placed you now in an almost impossible position.

If you go to Garth with the simple offer of your love--the treasure he asked three years ago and failed to win--he will naturally conclude the love now given is mainly pity; and Garth Dalmain is not the man to be content with pity, where he has thought to win love, and failed.Nor would he allow any woman--least of all his crown of womanhood--to tie herself to his blindness unless he were sure such binding was her deepest joy.And how could you expect him to believe this in face of the fact that, when he was all a woman's heart could desire, you refused him and sent him from you?--If, on the other hand, you explain, as no doubt you intend to do, the reason of that refusal, he can but say one thing: 'You could not trust me to be faithful when I had my sight.Blind, you come to me, when it is no longer in my power to prove my fidelity.There is no virtue in necessity.I can never feel I possess your trust, because you come to me only when accident has put it out of my power either to do the thing you feared, or to prove myself better than your doubts.' My dear girl, that is how matters stand from the man's point of view;from his, I make no doubt, even more than from mine; for I recognise in Garth Dalmain a stronger man than myself.Had it been I that day in the church, wanting you as he did, I should have grovelled at your feet and promised to grow up.Garth Dalmain had the iron strength to turn and go, without a protest, when the woman who had owned him mate the evening before, refused him on the score of inadequacy the next morning.I fear there is no question of the view he would take of the situation as it now stands."Jane's pale, startled face went to the doctor's heart.

"But Deryck--he--loves--"

"Just because he loves, my poor old girl, where you are concerned he could never be content with less than the best.""Oh, Boy, help me! Find a way! Tell me what to do!" Despair was in Jane's eyes.